"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." Anais Nin

Words feel inadequate, and yet here I am compelled to attempt expression. I am faced with my own depths, the intensity of my very being and the knowledge in my bones that bringing that experience to the canvas is my calling. It is the fuel that fires my existence.
The phrase  keeps ringing in my ear from Sue Monk Kidd's book..."Do you have nothing to say to your generation of women?". Do you have nothing to say?? Do you have something to say? Do you?

I review some of the work I've created over the last year and I am astounded. I have something to say and it bubbles up even when I am trying to ignore it. The beautiful, the ugly, the profane, the heartbreaking, the serene, the magnificent...it all speaks to me so loudly it takes my breath away. I am overwhelmed with the responsiblity of translating this communication into physical reality, but that is what I am here to do.

I am mourning the loss of hiding, the loss of ignorance. I am mourning for the person who pretended to be working but was actually avoiding the truth shining in the pictures she takes. I am scared senseless. I am mourning the girl who hid behind responsibilities, obligations, social conventions, rules and promises. It is all gone. It is all an illusion.

The truth that shines through like a prism in the noonday sun is that  I am a woman with something to say and it is time to stop de-valuing my work, time to be who I know I am and not varnish it with socially acceptable white wash.  I will bring my entire being to my craft. That is my calling.

I am sobbing and shaking with fear and excitement and ferocity all at the same time.

Posted by: brutallycurious at January 29, 2007 20:30 | link | comments (1)

a seduced reality

The elusive artist statement I started months ago is almost finished. As part of developing the website, I was perusing my bookmarks of artist's sites when I came across this...I thought I'd lost the link to this bit of fun.  Choose your words and presto! instant artist statement jargonned crap. It's a little scary that some of it makes sense.  What a great way to start my day and not take it all so seriously.....

have your own fun...   Market-O-Matic.


Work of Meta-Art in the Age of Generative Reproduction

The matrix creates, the body profligates. In the material reality, art objects are resurrections of the imaginations of the matrix -- a matrix that uses the body as an organism to deconstruct ideas, patterns, and emotions. With the synergy of the electronic environment, the matrix is approaching a point where it will be free from the body to transcend immersions into the parameters of the delphic reality. Work of Meta-Art in the Age of Generative Reproduction contains 10 minimal java engines (also refered to as "memes") that enable the user to make incomparable audio/visual compositions.

measuring chains, constructing realities
putting into place forms
a matrix of illusion and disillusion
a strange attracting force
so that a seduced reality will be able to spontaneously feed on it

---

Arlia Hoffman's work investigates the nuances of pixels through the use of fast motion and close-ups which emphasize the Generative nature of digital media. Hoffman explores abstract and whirly scenery as motifs to describe the idea of cyber-intuitive reality. Using round loops, non-linear narratives, and slow-motion images as patterns, Hoffman creates meditative environments which suggest the expansion of space...

 

Posted by: brutallycurious at January 29, 2007 10:01 | link | comments

I am in motion today. I am beset with feelings, ideas, new perspectives. I feel completely surrounded with myself today.
who am I?  Who do I choose to be and where is that decision leading me? How do I reconcile the knowledge that I am the creator of my own experience with the overwhelming feeling of being led and directed down a path I cannot clearly see?

how do I fully express artistically what is within? What will it look like when no longer hemmed in by expectations and fear? I smell it. I am getting closer to it.

My intuition is strong today and not a little intimidating to my ego. I'm choosing the wide open plains of possibilities my spirit opens before me to the broom closet my ego would like to keep me in where it's safe. Safety be damned.

Posted by: brutallycurious at January 28, 2007 14:35 | link | comments

well..

i'm in the curious position of having things i want to say and not being at liberty to say them. I hate that. So while I figure out ethical/moral/philisophical dilemmas on my own, let's discuss something light, shall we?

here is the new home page for our website...my husband and I are going to operate under the name Blue Spiral Media...him doing his computer stuff, me doing photography, and us doing web design together.
I thought the photography link was working today, but apparently not. One portfolio is ready, but it's not linked yet.
so...here it is. I know it looks simple,  but the concept was 3 months in the making. I love it...it speaks to us on an emotional and spiritual level.  The name and logo we've had a while, but the picture was a toughie, and came to us a couple of weeks ago. I showed him the picture, he suggested a feeling he wanted it to have, I developed it, and he built the page around it.  Because it was an intuitive design, though, we don't know exactly what it means yet.  We're going to have to be with it a while and figure out the reasons it feels right for us.  I know that sounds funny, but we don't do anything the conventional way....bass ackwards, we are.

bluespiralmedia.com

in other news, the woman who took over my job with the little old ladies has quit. She lasted 4 months. This tears me up....I don't want to go back, but I care enough about them to almost make me go back. Sigh. We'll see if I get a phonecall.

Posted by: brutallycurious at January 25, 2007 20:37 | link | comments

From this morning's Atlanta paper. Doesn't this just say it all??

Posted by: brutallycurious at January 23, 2007 00:05 | link | comments (4)