"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." Anais Nin

Cold roasted chicken, potato salad, fresh veggies and ginger ale on a vintage plate. A mission-style table with a bamboo placemat and a little table lamp. A year-old Art Forum magazine and a little Sting in the background while the ceiling fans turn.
Life is good.

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 29, 2007 13:09 | link | comments

back online

in my new office. the cable guy hasn't even come, but the cable seems to be on and my router is working.
In the condos, we needed two hubs for 900 square feet and even then we had a slow connection. Now that we're in a house with no one else's router nearby, we only need one and it's on the opposite side of the house from me. sweet.
The noise from this street is really going to take some adjusting. See, the condo's advantages were the quiet, park-like setting away from a busy road. The tradeoff was living within feet of others, hearing and seeing most of what went on.
Now, we have probably 1/2 an acre and a house to ourselves...quite  a lot intown, but the road out front is full of pedestrians accustomed to having the whole street as part of their tight-knit community...they were out at all hours walking and talking and arguing and playing music.  One type of peace and quiet exchanged for another.
I am exhausted. My hands are sore and chapped. My legs and feet hurt. My brain is functioning at, maybe, 40 percent. I know it's at least that good, because when it goes completely I just sit in the middle of the room and stare at everything. I am just a big jellyfish. No decision-making ability.
All the utilities are in except for the gas. That won't happen until Tuesday because of the holiday I think, so until then no hot water and no stove. We're going  back to the condo to take showers and make breakfast until then.
A friend is giving us both a gas and a charcoal grill, so we'll be grilling fools all weekend since we can't use the stove and don't yet have a microwave. I had to leave my built-in at the condo.

off to figure out how to fix the shower...more later :)

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 26, 2007 11:11 | link | comments

so.very.tired.
art opening -  quite a success.
tonight- deep-fried doughy goodness and writing a fresh resume.
house - closing tomorrow
lining up utilities with city red-tape- sucks
tomorrow- job interview
thursday- meetings
friday-moving

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 22, 2007 23:06 | link | comments (1)

be revolutionary...be yourself

I've been somewhat self-absorbed in the last few weeks, and only just now read jackal's post about the craft fair. I have not done a craft fair myself, but I have had a gallery in town, with whom I was hoping to consign my work, close because of lack of business.

I had already heard that arts festivals and craft fairs, while wonderful community building activities, tend to be very labor-intensive with small returns. My father's experiences with his photography bear that out. I, therefore, opted not to show at art festivals.

But I struggle will all the same thoughts and doubts jani does. I haven't had a paying photography gig in 3 months. I found myself the other day feeling like a failure, wondering if my husband is getting impatient for me to figure out how to make money at what I do, feeling guilty for not taking any work I can get my hands on, and wondering what was "wrong" with me that I wasn't willing to work at the local coffeeshop or wherever.

Lack of work leads me to question to quality of the work I do, my motivation, my dedication. But I don't ever question my artistic eye...it's there, I feel it. But can anyone else appreciate it? Will it reach the audience who can see my vision?

The first submission I've ever made was the one to the Decatur Arts Festival, and they accepted one of the three pieces I submitted. But that was the only submission i've made in 3 years! I marvel at the myriad of paths artists take..jani has put her work out there in ways I'm only beginning to consider.

But all the wonderful encouragement she received was spot-on. Being true to one's own eye is the most essential ingredient. Little by little the rest can be built on that. Creativity and inspiration come from the soul. As an artist trusts that inspiration and follows it, the soul gains confidence to express itself in all its glory. That kind of authenticity is the fuel of great art. There is no mistaking art of that sort.

I am not discouraged. I know good opportunities will come, but it requires patience and the curiosity to seek out new people and situations to find the opportunities.  I also know my creative outlook will change when we move into the new house next week. I am excited for the change of venue, for the chance to have an supportive place to create.

Being an artist is not the safe route, that's for sure. When we get comfortable in it, that's the time to worry. I am embracing the risks, the doubts, the process. That's what makes it fun :)

"Art is either plagiarism or revolution"-  Paul Gauguin

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 20, 2007 16:20 | link | comments (1)
art , authenticity

Bright and easy

An email went out today to all the artists in the juried exhibition: Send in your artist's bio by 9 am tomorrow or it won't be included. It was due two weeks ago and the exhibit opens a week from today.  I sent mine in two minutes before she sent the email. I was thinking I was the only slacker, but apparently over half had not submitted a bio. It feels good to know it's hard for them as well.
I've been working on an artist's statement for months...it's mostly done. The bio is a different creature to write, but it gave me the opportunity to fit a synopsis of me as an artist in 50 words or less. Having done that, I think I can now go back to the artist's statement and trim it down.

How I work is so emotionally based and difficult to convey within the confines of words. But....that's what writing is all about.  My challenge has always been mental clarity and organization, so when I'm able to balance the emotional with the clarity, I feel like I just conquered the world.

Now that I've sent the bio, I feel just that way. The world is a brighter, easier place now.  But that may also be because I went to the doctor this morning and got a very clean bill of health.  I hadn't seen her or taken my supplements for about 6 months. I wanted to see how my body would do on it's own, and it's done great.  I haven't had any digestive issues, and when i get an allergic reaction  I recover quickly.  It's taken two years, but I am officially healthy. :)

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 15, 2007 13:49 | link | comments (2)