"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." Anais Nin

little discoveries

I've been obsessed lately with handmade paper. Not that I really want to make my own right now...I may get there eventually, but right now I am enjoying the beauty and variety of paper others make. I love origami for it's weight and amazing array of designs. But the local selection is paltry  and when I began working with what I have, I was not excited. So I went online and discovered Paper Jade. I was thrilled with all the choices, including large sizes like 18x24 inches. I placed a hefty order, giggling all the way to the checkout, and sent them a little message saying I was excited to have found them and couldn't wait to see my paper.
This is the reply I got by email confirming my order...

Hello Arlia,
We're so excited that you found us, too, and we look forward to doing business with you in the future, as well. :-)

We'll get your paper out to you right away tomorrow morning, and you will receive an email confirmation at that time.

Have a lovely evening!

Kindest regards,
Paper Jade

This is perfect customer service. i can't be there 24 hours a day to provide this type of response to my customers, but this is a refreshing level of warmth in communication to which I will aspire......and....I still can't wait to see my paper!

Posted by: brutallycurious at October 29, 2007 20:48 | link | comments (3)
art , handmade paper

This is the painting I finished a couple of weeks ago. The images are taken directly from the murals found in the ruins of Minoan houses (the pre-Greek matriarchial society on the island of Crete).
The spirals were a common architectural accent. The teal color was the background of another mural.  Bluebirds are a favorite of mine, as are irises and lilies.

It's acrylic on handmade paper, mounted inside an old window frame.

Posted by: brutallycurious at October 28, 2007 14:38 | link | comments (3)
art

bright lights, little room

Posted by: brutallycurious at October 26, 2007 23:38 | link | comments

The flow of life

Last Thursday before the taping, I had a little time on my hands and stopped in a used book store near me.  I was browsing the art books, when I realized this store had the two Georgia O'Keefe anthologies I have been wanting. When I saw them, I cried. Not only did it excite the artist within me, I was overcome that I had forgotten how badly I wanted them, and now I was staring at both of them. They could be mine if I wanted, and I wanted.  And now I could afford to buy them.  I bought Georgia O'Keefe: Art and Letters, the first posthumous exhibition and book. It is the perfect combination of her own words and work not before seen.
The timing could not have been better. It was a wakeup call not only to my artist, but to my heart of hearts to be authentic and strong. I clutched it to me and carried it home. As I read it, I am amazed how aware she is of the artistic process as I now know it. She talks about it as "making the unknown known" and how that is different for every artist.  Her paintings are her words. Although she writes well, all her important things to say are in paint. I will be talking about her and drawing inspiration from her for a long  time to come.

Then, Saturday morning arrived. I talked on camera from about 10 til 6 with a break for lunch. There were times I was just talking...giving information....recounting history. But there were those moments....maybe hours....where I was heart-centered and sharing from the depth of my experience. I cried a fair amount. There were times I touched existing wounds. They were apparent. I am okay with crying...it's part of my expression....but I would like to think someday I will have enough distance from the experience to telll my story with more detachment.
I was strong. I took responsibility for my own life and shared the lessons I've learned since my divorce. It went well by everyone's account.
After the interview, they shot  video of me writing, shooting, journaling. It was surreal to have near-strangers in my home so interested in how I live my life and how I work. Cool...still weird.

The next two days I spent recovering physically and emotionally. It drained me, but it also empowered me to stand in all my experience and have my opinion sought. It was a very cool experience. Whatever becomes of it in the end is less important.

I feel bigger now. Not in any external sense of recognition, but bigger in my self. Is there any way to express  what I am feelng? I feel larger, stronger, more authentic than ever before. It has energized me to continue to think big, dream big and walk in all the personal power I can muster.

Which leads me to my job. I realized I was shrinking from living into the full scope of my job. Mainly because I see it as not-my-passion. But, really, it utilizes a number of my passions and we've pretty much established it's good for me and I enjoy it.
So...if I'm there, I want to be completely there. Doing it half-assed will not make me or anyone else happy with me being there.
I am painting a mental picture of all this job entails and how I want it to flow. that is very useful. Instead of reacting to the events of the day, I am keeping the larger vision in mind and not getting lost in the details. That I do well. The details can bog me down, but when I stand in my woman, I don't get overwhelmed by them......and keeping the big picture makes all that possible.
I don't know if this is making any sense because I feel like I'm learning new ideas without enough words to express them.

My youngest daughter's 10th birthday is tomorrow, and I fall in love with her anew every day. I just love it when they get to the point in life where get a little more aware that they are NOT the center of the universe. Relationships become more important. My daughter is beginning to express things like gratitude,  compassion, and she has an insatiable curiousity. This makes her a little sponge and she really listens when we explain things to her. I will enjoy this phase because i know eventually we will be totally stupid and she will know everything. I hope I have until at least 14 before that happens...but we'll see.

Posted by: brutallycurious at October 26, 2007 23:14 | link | comments (2)
work, emotions, family, georgia okeefe, authenticity, documentary

The film crew comes in 2 hours. I am ready, but that is difficult to stand in. There are a lot of what-if's runniing around in my head.
I think i'm going to put on my ipod with the most validating music i have. I'll get in my "zone"....

all i have to do is vacuum the office, iron my clothes, and do the makeup/hair thing. My crazy hairdresser/bar buddy Tria is coming to do my hair and I'm so grateful. She is supportive without being nurturing...rather like, Get it together girl you are going to do great and you know it.

Having the courage to tell my story  is what she would call "putting on my big girl panties". 

There's a line from The Emperor's New Groove. Hilarious movie...if a bit odd. David Spade and John Goodman are facing trial after trial trying to get from the village back to the city, and at one point they are strapped back to back in a river about to go over a cliff which only John Goodman can see. David Spade asks about the perils below and when John's character tells him bluntly what awaits, David Spade says "bring it on".

Public scrutiny about my private life? Sharing stories that may encourage other women? Bring it on.

Posted by: brutallycurious at October 20, 2007 07:13 | link | comments
music, authenticity, documentary