"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." Anais Nin

solitude

there is comfort and creativity in a writer's solitude. But I am resisting it, and it shows. I am going to embrace it. Hopefully when I poke my head out again, something interesting will be on the horizon. For now....it's me, myself, and I.

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 31, 2009 23:31 | link | comments

Rumi rocks

"But if someone doesn't want to hear
the song of the reed flute,

It's best to cut conversation
short, say goodbye, and leave."

The Reed Flute's Song
Rumi


I have had to learn this lesson over and over. Maybe I've got it now.

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 24, 2009 08:35 | link | comments

quiet certitude

My life has been anything but quiet lately and made the blog very quiet indeed. It has seemed nearly impossible to find words for my experiences.

The words I do find seem either too vague or too banal. Too small or too grandiose. Too much or too little.

I have essentially redesigned my life from the inside. The outside doesn't look much different, but inside I am a new creature. I stripped away everything that was pretense, everything I could find that didn't ring true to who I feel myself to be. Being so brutally honest with myself has wrought changes I had no way to predict. I have discovered more of my purpose in life, more about who I am and I feel very powerful now.

Knowing one's inner landscape and not lying to yourself or anyone else about it brings enormous power over your own life.  When everything else is gone all that remains is the truth in my heart. No one else can argue with that. They may not agree, but they can't argue with what I know to be true for myself.  Having that sort of clarity brings the peace beyond understanding and a quiet certitude about all the decisions I make.

Granted, I have days on end of fretting and worrying...."trying" to make situations work out the way I think I want them to. But I eventually give up and check my heart about the right course...and relax. Once I relax, the peace returns.

I was terrified of who I might be if I was completely honest. Now I know. I have lived through the terrors and emerged more powerful on the other side. On the other side of fear is great power and beauty.

The key to all this is being here. now. Meeting yourself in this moment and not turning away. Meeting the challenge of this moment and cherishing whatever it may bring you. The eternal moment of the Now is where we accept what Is and accept the responsibility to create who we want to be. I listen to the still small voice within and take the next step. Quiet certitude.

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 22, 2009 13:35 | link | comments (1)
finding my own rhythm, authenticity

Choices

Posted by: brutallycurious at May 11, 2009 06:21 | link | comments (2)