"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." Anais Nin

vacation house

when my mother first saw pictures of my house, she said it looked like a vacation home...and i guess that's why i like it.  It does feel like an escape.
However the adjustment has been so much bigger than i imagined.  My schedule has changed and that's making me tired.  We've been here two weeks and have mostly unpacked but the house still does not feel like ours. we haven't filled it with our mojo so i still feel like i'm  renting a vacation home for a little while and then i'll go home. But when i sit on the porch or walk down to the lake,  I know that this house was meant for us..it is the perfect setting at the perfect time to support the way we want to live. It is even better than we could have dreamed of.
But it's so freakin  big.  We haven't measured, but my guess is it's about 2800 square feet. I get home really tired and all i want to do is go to bed, so the art room is not yet unpacked, nor my daughter's room. My closet is about 80% done, but i still cannot locate everything.

My mother is ill, too  and so my attention is divided. She and the whole family have been waiting for  over a week to be told when her surgery is and still we do not know.  She has cancer in two spots in her body and they are figuring out which one to tackle first.

So I sit on this peaceful porch and worry about my mother. I chafe at the structure now imposed by living further out and yet I am deeply grateful to be here.  This space is not only for us, but will be a great resource for our friends and family who want to hang out in the country and do some hiking. Being only 20 minutes from where we used to live, we really are not that far out.

The kittens...they love it. They are frightened of every noise outside, but have runways and stairs to work off their kitten energy. So what if they are now 15 months old...they will always be my kittens.

Posted by: brutallycurious at August 19, 2008 05:03 | link | comments (2)
mom , house, kittens